An equation is the process of equating one thing with another. A relationship is the way in which two or more people or things are connected. It is also the state of their minds being connected and the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other. Therefore the equation in a relationship may be described as the process of equating the way two people BEHAVE towards each other.
Blood relationships like the ones between parents and children and those between siblings fall in a different group and will be discussed separately.
The relationship between a man and his wife is actually a partnership at a very high level of friendship and legally committed companionship. The relationship between friends belonging to the same gender, like school mates, colleagues or even neighbours, is the one that is most dynamic in nature. Some last as short as a few months while others last an entire lifetime. A friendship most often begins with a simple ‘Hello’, and it can grow into a very close relationship lasting over six or seven decades until one of the two people in the relationship departs. There are also many strong relationships that actually started with an argument or even after a quarrel. Strangely enough, such relationships last long.
When two people meet each other for the first time, either personally, over the telephone or through written communication, there is some unknown energy that flows between the two souls. Right in the beginning, people somehow sense and recognise almost instantaneously those with whom they would build long-lasting relationships. Those who sense from within that they are connected with another person, depending on the nature of the connection, get on like a house on fire. There are also people that strongly dislike each other from the very moment of their first meeting or encounter.
When two people come into contact with each other for the first time and have their first interaction, there is a certain equation that is formed in their minds. One mind automatically scans the other person to identify common interests, likes, dislikes and other traits in the new friend or acquaintance. This is the stage when the two, subconsciously, start building their expectations of one another. In other words, based on the observations they have made, either person actually decides how the other person should behave and also what he or she should do and not do. Once this stage is crossed, the basic equation in the relationship has been established.
As long as this equation is respected, the equilibrium within the relationship is maintained. Whenever one of the two does something that the other does not like, there is a jolt in the smooth-sailing relationship. The sailing becomes a rough one unless one of the two takes steps to stabilise it.
An important factor that disrupts friendships is the change in the financial and social status of one of the two persons. This is usually caused by success or failure in business or in work. Sudden changes in the financial and social situation of one of the two persons, lead to an imbalance in the relationship. When such a thing happens, there is a difference in the way the one who is successful treats the other who has suffered setbacks. The person, who is still nursing his or her bruises after the fall, feels insulted and belittled. Initially, it is the feeling of hurt, but this feeling eventually turns into anger and animosity and the two people who were once great friends, turn foes.
One of the main causes for the ruining of marriages is an imbalance in the equation that formed the very basis of the relationship when it first came into existence. Everything goes well until the equation is preserved. But unfortunately, even when things are going well, unexpected external forces do affect or disturb the balance in the equation. This disturbance normally comes in the form of an external entity whose views or opinions influence the equation. The entity could be a person or a character from a film, or from a book. When this happens, the partner, who is affected by the outside influence, starts acting or behaving differently. This disturbs the other person’s mind, and they enter into arguments that are unnecessary. If one of the two does not give in, the argument leads to a rift in the relationship, which becomes extremely difficult to mend. But the good news is that it is never too late to re-establish the relationship by looking back into the equation that existed when the relationship was first formed. All it takes a person is to travel back in memory, to analyse the different parts of the equation, and to take the necessary steps to balance it again.
The easiest and quickest way to regain control over the situation and to re-establish the original equation in the relationship is to embrace the philosophy of forgiveness. The act of forgiving others is not only one of the most divine ones with highly magical effects, but is also one of the most sensible ones. Sensible because forgiving straight away ends the particular chain of negative Karma that the two people in question are in. It also indicates the magnanimous and benevolent nature of the person who forgives. Such a person becomes more likeable and loveable than ever before. Most importantly, people can actually satisfy their ego by forgiving. This is because, the act of forgiving, in some way or the other, is an act of ego, vanity and also that of arrogance – ‘I am greater than thou, and therefore I forgive thee.’
In Chaldean Hebrew Numerology, the numbers 9 and 6 represent the planets Mars and Venus, respectively. Mars is the planet of war and Venus the planet of love. The effects of war and love can be shown using the following simple mathematical expression:
9+9 = 18 (1+8)= 9 (WAR)
9+9+9+9 = 36 (3+6) = 9 (WAR)
Now let us add some ‘love’ to it
9+9+6 = 24 (2+4) = 6 (LOVE)
9+9+9+9+6= 42 (4+2) = 6 (LOVE)
: Venus – Love
It takes a tough and strong person to admit to a mistake and to say ‘SORRY’ and a magnanimous and gracious one, with a large heart, to FORGIVE.
Life is not all that long to be wasted carrying the burden of anger, hatred, vengeance and all that rubbish.
Forgiving balances the relationship equation and breaks the chain of negative Karma, forever.
3 thoughts on “The relationship equation and the philosophy of forgiveness”
(This is because, the act of forgiving, in some way or the other, is an act of egotism, vanity and also that of arrogance – ‘I am greater than thou and therefore I forgive thee!’)
What a wonderful way to look at the act of forgiving! I am sure that this would be a good way for proud and haughty people.
Thank you for the article.
I read the matter thoroughly and I appreciate for sharing this knowledge.thanks for everything.will try to practise and apply the principles in all given situations thanks for the information.
Needless to say sir , good read ! more on Husband and wife and family please .
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