Definitions of the terms Trust, Pain and Disappointment:
Trust (n): a feeling of confidence in someone that shows you believe they are honest, fair, and reliable
Disappointment (n): the feeling of being unhappy because something that you hoped for or expected did not happen, or because someone or something was not as good as you expected.
Pain (n): – the feeling of great discomfort you have, for example when you have been hurt or when you are ill.
– is the feeling of unhappiness that you have when something unpleasant or upsetting happens.
From the dictionary definitions of the three terms, one can conclude that all three are directly related to the manner one perceives and judges a situation or a person.
When you trust someone, it means that he or she behaves in a way that agrees with your idea or standard of being honest or doing things right.
You are disappointed when someone or something is not as you expect or does not behave in a manner you want them to do, but the intensity of your emotion is not high enough to actually cause you pain.
You suffer mental pain and unhappiness when someone or something does something that is not at all as you expect, and the person suddenly changes how they behave or interact with you.
When you carefully analyse the above definitions and explanations of the three terms, you will realise that all three emotions are directly proportionate to what you consider to be right.
Ramesh trusts his friend Ajay and confides in him about everything in his personal life. Sometime later, Ajay finds a new wealthy friend, and he turns his friendship and loyalty towards that new friend. This DISAPPOINTS Ramesh. But when Ramesh notices that Ajay has stopped talking to him, and comes to know that Ajay has revealed to his new friend some extremely confidential information about him, he experiences shock and mental PAIN because of being let down by someone he trusted so much.
We can conclude from the above example that the PAIN Ramesh suffers begins with the TRUST he placed in Ajay. Therefore, logically speaking, the prime cause of Ramesh’s PAIN is the TRUST he placed in Ajay.
When you suffer heartbreaks, instead of blaming the person who broke your heart, or let you down, try to understand that it was your poor judgement of someone’s trustworthiness that led you to disappointment and to mental pain.
The simplest relief from such PAIN, which, in truth, is SELF-INFLICTED, would be to own up to your mistake, learn from the experience, and be more careful next time.
You can avoid encountering such painful situations in the future by keeping the key to your happiness with you always and never giving it to anyone – ever.
Study the Srimad Bhagavad Gita and strive to gain Atmajnana, or the Knowledge of the SELF. Once you’ve mastered your mind, the day when you laugh at situations you now call sad is just around the corner.
All the expectations that you have from others are nothing but the result of your desire to keep your pseudo-self or false ego puffed up, pampered, and fully satisfied. If you truly loved someone, you would not expect them to behave with you in a certain way that merely satisfies your pride or manages some kind of complex that you might have, but you would only wish them well and let them be happy just as you wish to be happy all the time.
The more you trust a person, which means the more you expect them to be in a certain manner that you deem right, and satisfy your pride, ego or whatever you might want to call the pseudo-self of yours, the heavier will your pain be when you find yourself in a situation in which, you think, the other person has let you down.
Remember: The first thing you should do, regardless of how unpleasant the situation might be, is to COME TO TERMS WITH IT, AT LEAST TEMPORARILY. If you do that, your intellect will be able to triumph over the emotions that have numbed your brain, and you will be able to find peace with yourself and focus on what matters to you now and in the future rather than wasting your time on someone or something that is nothing more than a learning experience for you.
Nothing or No one is worth wasting your NOW for.
Don’t worry, be happy.
Jai Shri Krishna