Thoughts on handling a breakup

Separation can be something gloomy, melancholic, stressful or traumatic but at the same time it can also a great relief for those who suffered due to bad relationships or marriages.

We come across thousands of people in our life but how many do we get to know, make friends with, build deep and sincere relationships with, get married to and live together until the end. Therefore, we should not be overlooking the fact that there must be some Karmic reasons for people to come together in a life time, especially when they are from different corners of the world and met despite the odds of their meeting being were very low.

Two things about a breakup are that either you wanted to happen or you didn’t want it to happen.

Scenario 1 – You wanted the breakup to happen

In case it was you who wanted the relationship to end, look deep into your heart and ask yourself if you could have avoided the breakup if you had lowered your ego levels, been less unselfish or been a bit more reasonable:
i. If the answer is ‘Yes’ and if you have a child or children, be prepared to take the responsibility of the new Karma you have just now collected by leading your child or children into a life without one parent when such a thing could have been avoided and also for causing pain to the person you threw out of your life only because you wanted to satisfy your personal objectives.
ii. If the answer is ‘No’ and if you have actually done something good for yourself, for your children or for both by saving yourselves from an ill tempered, abusive or useless spouse and parent, be grateful to your the Supreme Being for blessing you, for aiding you in the fight for justice and for entrusting you with the divine work of raising your child or children. Treat it as a blessing and never as some achievement because such thoughts are bound to inflate your ego and make you believe that you are some kind of a hero who rescued your children and yourself from a bad situation. Be modest. Remember that pride comes before a fall and you don’t want to fall.

a. Since you wanted it and because it has happened, you have the right to feel happy for having achieved the your goal.
Make sure that you destroy all the things that remind you of the past and of the relationship that you ended. c. Also make sure that you don’t say or think anything negative about the person you dumped at least because of the high chances of the negative energy that you send out, ricocheting straight back to you.

d. Experience of any kind is first hand knowledge gained and therefore remember to be thankful for all the experience, both good as well as bad, that you gained in the relationship you ended.
e. Think that you are born again and understand that your destiny has offered you another chance to start all over again. Be wise and do not do the things you feel you could have avoided in the previous relationship.

Scenario 2 – You did not want to break up. (This is sad)

In case you did not want the breakup but were let down or dumped by your partner:
a. Make conscious efforts to avoid calling yourself or letting others call you a victim. This is because considering oneself a victim is a sure way to fall into the deep abyss of a dangerous phenomenon called self-pity which is extremely destructive to the native.
b. If you still love the person who left you, if you do not wish to forget your loved one, and if you feel that no one else can ever take that person’s place in your heart, simply continue to love that person.
c. Loving a person truly means wishing the loved person well. It does not meaning wanting to possess that person or having the person before your eyes all the time.
d. However, learn to get used to the fact that you will not see that person or be in that person’s company again.
e. Even if your relationship had not broken and had you been together, you certainly would not have spent 24 hours a day with your partner. Both of you would have had your own spaces and would have done your own things during the day until you saw each other again either during some part of the day or at the day’s end. The separation now is also something like that but with the only difference that you don’t have the chance of being with the person again. However, if you believe that your love is true and if you feel that the other person took the decision without thinking deep enough, you might still have a chance of getting together again. When it pertains to destiny, nothing is impossible. Destiny is too powerful and its ways are too complicated for the human mind to comprehend.
f. Never allow the feeling of rejection turn into anger or hatred. Those are negative energies which will ruin you before beginning to affect others around you.
g. No knee jerk reactions of any kind because they may lead you to rebounds which can turn out to be terrible mistakes you will wish you had never done.
i. If you have a child or children that live with your ex-spouse, see them regularly during the time allowed by the court of law but also write mails or record your talks to them and keep them stored with you. You will need them when your child or children grow up. There will be a day when you will be able to talk to them in detail and give them your version of all that happened that led to the separation between you, your spouse and your children.

Life is short and the greatest gift we receive every moment of our life is life itself. There is nothing greater than life and consciousness which give people the possibility to experience and admire life and nature. Every being, plant or thing is a part of that One Supreme Brahman we call Krishna. We are all the same but we inhabit different bodies and use different minds. It is nothing but illusion that makes us believe that we are separate from one another when we are not.

Each and every moment is a new experience which is never repeated. Experience the bliss of life, be thankful for whatever you have and do not covet what others have but you don’t. That is because doing so cannot be of any use to you but will certainly cost you your NOW, which you will never get back again.

True Love based on Sattva Guna is peaceful and divine. Love all, respect all and forgive all those you feel have wronged you. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Shreyo bhooyaath sakala janaanaam.
May all be blessed

Jai Shri Krishna